Defining Your Relationships

Message Summary:

The number one and most important relationship you will ever be in is your relationship with God. A healthy relationship with God will produce healthy relationships with others. That’s why from Genesis to Revelations, the Bible is a playbook on relationships. The Word of God is designed to help you navigate all the relationships in your life. Whatever God has for your life, he places providential relationships into your life to do it. The law of association is critical to your future and the success of your life. You are responsible for the outcome of the relationships in your life. If your definition for relationship is coming from a worldly perspective, you are guaranteed to have major problems in that relationship. Relationships are not about performances driven by a check list of things based on terms, conditions, rules and unrealistic expectations. This is just a formula for chaos and conflict.

You have to learn how to define your relationships from God’s perspective. This is the only way to ensure that you have healthy relationships. Remember, relationships are shaped by connection, bond, and association between two or more people, characterized by shared experiences, emotions, interactions, understanding, and communication. Relationships gives us love, companionship, support, safety, growth, and a sense of belonging. They are not something that can be put on auto-pilot. They need active and constant attention.

The quality of your relationships is often determined by the quality of your communication. Good communication is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. The devil loves it when we have unhealthy or no communication in our relationships. That’s why Satan constantly attempts to get us to sin with our mouths, because if he can control our words, he can control and destroy our relationships. Communication is more than an art; it’s all about the heart. If you have no HEART in your words in your relationships, it will be an unfruitful relationship. And true communication can only occur when the needs and differences of each person are understood and respected.

Scriptures:

  • [Ephesians 4:2-3 NLT] 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.

  • [James 1:19-22 NLT] 19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. 21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22 But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.

  • [Romans 12:9-10 NLT] 9 Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

  • [Matthew 15:18 NLT] But the words you speak come from the heart--that's what defiles you.

Discussion Questions:

  1. What is the law of association, and why is it critical to our future?

  2. Why did God place providential relationships in our lives, and how do we recognize them?

  3. Why should we define our relationships, and how do we do that?

  4. How do we love others when it’s hard?

  5. Why is communication the key to healthy relationships?

Life Application:

Over the next week, as you study the key scriptures, ask yourself the following question: Are the relationships in your life healthy? Are the on auto-pilot? Or are there any relationships you know you need to let go of in your life? Now is the time to take a hard look at the quality of the relationships in your life, and ask the Lord “Who are the people that I NEED to be walking with in this season of my life?”

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